Sunday, July 10, 2011

it's official, we've lost our minds.

WARNING: this post is not for the faint of heart! there is super-grossness involved so be prepared (too bad no one gave me that warning)

on friday we officially purchased our first home! WAHOO!!!

our (peter's) first order of business was getting tools... so we headed to lowes and loaded up...

peter was literally giddy... he basically skipped around the store like a small child while i had panic attacks... we ended up with these two for him and a tiny black&decker sander for me... jupe... anyway we were ready for action... our plan is to get the kitchen, guest bathroom, and guest bedroom ready first so we can move in... then we will gut the master bath/bedroom, fix up living spaces, and after that start on the apartment...

so, bright and early saturday morning we loaded up and headed for our house... here is what we planned to accomplish this weekend in the kitchen (please notice that i said plannED... yeah)
            1. take off all cabinet doors and hardware; sand, prime, paint cabinets white
            2. remove counter tops and replace with butcher board
            3. fix crazy sink situation where previous owners literally taped the drain pipe to the sink with electrical tape (fo reel):

               4. strip walls of wall paper and paint
               5. take down cabinets separating kitchen and living room and move to future corner workspace... then build small bar
when i write it all out i realize we may have reached a bit high for our first weekend but we were excited ok? so we started off with full hearts and a bounce in our steps... first i began removing the cabinet faces:

 while peter unpacked his new toys:

but after about 30 min, i was here:

and peter was HERE:

so after a gentle nudge, peter started demo and i got to sanding... (this is my sweet sanding work station)

it didn't take long, however, to figure out that we may not get everything on our list finished... after about 2 hours of sanding i had only finished 3 doors.. this was not because i am a total moron, but because the cabinets were so covered in grease we could only get through one door per sandpaper... i am not kidding... there are no words to describe how disgusting sanding mass amounts of someone else's 40 year old build up of cooking lard is... but the worst part is the fact that that was not the grossest event of the weekend.. by the end of saturday i was still sanding:


but peter had at least gotten the sink out and the counter tops off... this wasn't really that hard to accomplish though because the drain looked like this under the awesome electrical tape:

so there wasn't actually anything to disconnect... and just in case anyone wanted a last good look at our beautiful counter tops before they went i made sure to snap a pic:
who knew mustard-colored leaf-patterned laminate would not end up a classic look? so sad...

by the end of the day we were starting to wonder if we really had any idea what we got ourselves into.. we cleaned up, put away our toys tools, and hobbled to the car... but not before i noticed something ominous behind the counters:

"what the heck is that?" i asked to myself.. but then i just got in the truck for another lowes run and forgot all about it...........................

the next morning we finished sanding and started priming (finally after 14 flipping hours) and then something wonderful happened; HELP ARRIVED!

my brother chris and his friend daniel saved the day... after getting the cabinets primed they started to remove the cabinets (notice how organized we are)...



then my mom came and we started tearing down the wallpaper INCH BY INCH

just to find another layer of wallpaper underneath... shoot me... also i learned a valuable lesson; when the stripper tells you to score the paper before spraying it, do NOT cut a grid of tiny squares in your wallpaper... this causes you to end up peeling tiny squares off the wall instead of long strips and then everyone wants to kill you... oops... but then, just when we were about to loose it, something lovely happened; cookies! our fabulous new neighbor baked us a batch and brought them over!
it was such a blessing! as a matter of fact i am going to take a break and eat one right now....


moving on... during the demo, it became clear that God had at some point sent a plague on our house... (do you send a plague on or to something? whatever focus chelsea) something out of a nightmare appeared behind the cabinets: HORRIBLE DISGUSTING HORRIBLE BUGS!!!!!! VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT!!!!!!


they are EVERYWHERE... i say "are" because they are still there and tomorrow i have to deal with them while peter is at work... they are all dead because we bombed the crap out of the house the night we got it but for some reason i don't feel any better about the situation... as a matter of fact i am ok with never going back to the house and letting the bugs have it... *shudder*

so now we have decided to take off all the cabinets and replace all of the drywall behind them... great... that shouldn't take too long... but wait! whats that you say my dearest husband? you have a paintball tournament next saturday and you won't be here all day?????? i make this face:
and plot your death.


one last thing before we left... a small bit of encouragement after a disgusting, overwhelming, nasty bug-carcass filled afternoon... right before we left, mom noticed that the entire hallway is covered in wallpaper... this was about to be the final straw (whatever that means because i am pretty sure we are the proud new owners of this ugly old disaster house and are contractually obligated to deal with it), but mom gave it a tug and:

yay!!!! the whole thing pretty much jumped off the wall... so maybe there is hope after all...



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